Fridge Police

I've worked at the Career Center for a year and a half, and I still don't have a clue who the RP is.

This is my confession.

Everyone knows that I don't mix fruit and dessert.

I have a most embarrassing confession.

A while back, Carolyn and I went to visit out friend Sara in Tuscaloosa. As always, she played a great host and showed us the best restaurants in town. Before C and I made the trek back to Columbia and Tallahassee, we stopped at a little brunch place called Food Is Good (I agree). The brunch buffet was phenomenal, but of course I was most looking forward to dessert at the end of our meal. The three amigos sidled up to the dessert table to eye the spread. Carrot cake, german chocolate, chocolate, bourbon pecan, red velvet, yellow cake...I could name them all. As a dessert connoisseur, I pride myself of my knowledge of desserts. I was overwhelmed with choices and knew the pressure was on to make the right decision. Carolyn suggested the Red Velvet, to which my response was:

"Oh no thanks, I don't like raspberries."

Sara gave me one of her famous eyebrow raises. Carolyn looked at me with a blank stare. I huffed and said "What? You guys know how I don't do fruit and dessert!" I refused the cake because, for 25 years, I have believed that red velvet cake is colored red because of raspberries. For 25 years I've refused red velvet cake on that principle. For 25 years, no one has corrected me. For 25 years, I have missed out on the joy that comes from cream cheese frosting and a delightfully red chocolate cake.

I'm making up for lost time. I have a lot of red velvet to eat.

November

Top 5 and bottom 5 of winter.

Looking forward to:

1. Hot chocolate

2. Pashminas. I love pashminas.

3. Snuggling with Sophie by the fireplace

4. No humidity = great hair

5. Pajama sets

Not looking forward to:

1. Over lotioning to account for dry skin.

2. Getting shocked every time I close my car door

3. Bulky clothes

4. Winter shoe shopping (the worst)

5. Getting dark at 6pm.

I almost died last night

My creation last night made me want to dance, cry, laugh, jump, throw my shoes, and call everyone in my phone book.

You are welcome, world. Chocolate Peanut Butter layer cake is here.

ok so i will admit these pictures aren't mine. i had one hand on my fork, and one hand on my camera...and the fork won.

EnchilaNO

Thanks for the "best enchilada recipe you will ever have in your entire life" Lauren Lowrey, but I will never make it again.

Sunday night I thought it would be nice to make dinner for my parents, and keeping with the mexican theme of the weekend (FSU/Ga Tech tailgate was mexican themed), I thought I'd try out an enchilada recipe that my good friend Lauren gave to me. I'm mixing, I'm shredding, I'm chop chop chopping - and the knife slips. Bye bye finger.

Ok so perhaps that is a little dramatic but there definitely was a slip and it definitely sliced my poor finger. When it comes to blood, I'm like Sandy when Frenchie goes to pierce her ears at the sleepover. So it was all I could do to slap on a band aid and pass out in bed.

Monday, attempting to be resilient while donning my bandaged finger (is there anything more unattractive?), I said I would attempt to make the enchiladas again. Back to the onions I go. I've got things going, I set the oven to 400 degrees, things are looking good. I accidentally spilled some garlic onto the oven so it starts to smoke a little bit in the kitchen. My mom asked what was burning and I told her the garlic that got on the burners, but lady, quit worrying because it will burn off in a few minutes. The whole time I thought it was strange that the slight smoke from the burning garlic wasn't letting up after a few minutes, so I set the oven fan. After rolling my beans in the tortilla and putting them in the dish, I open the oven door and saw...

croutons?

what's that red goo?

what is happening?

It took about 5 seconds to put it all together, but apparently my mother had put croutons in a red tupperwear bowl and set it in the oven to keep them fresh. I'm not too sure where this reasoning came from, but nonetheless, I didn't think to look for anything in the oven before I preheated it. And there they were, those little croutons, sitting on the oven rack with red goo dripping everywhere. I wanted to take a picture for documentation purposes, but I didn't think my dad would be too amused be that. He didn't seem to be amused at all to be honest. Long story short, we ended up being able to clean most of it off using a spackler thing, and yes I did cook my enchiladas in the tupperwear-fumed oven after that. I am absolutely horrified at the thought of the poisonous fumes I inhaled last night from the result of melted tupperwear. This small moment of forgetfullness could have the potential to leave to brain damage, possible sterility, cancer, loss of eyesight - basically any disease I am diagnosed with in the future I will forever attribute the night of October 12, 2009 to my ailment.

I googled "melted tupperwear in oven" and here's what I found: Thankfully my dad is super smart and he did exact this, but without the google aide.

How to remove melted Tupperware:

1. Do a frantic Google search. (Check, a day later)


2. Following the instructions of some guy on the first website you come across, snatch up a wooden spoon and try to scrape up the mess. (found these instructions)


3. Observe that the mess is a lot more liquid in consistency than it first appeared and that the wooden spoon has done nothing but paint pretty swirls through the blue goo. (the melted red goo actually was quite pretty and it looked a little bit like taffy)


4. Note grimly that you missed the part where the guy breezily tells you to throw away your now-ruined wooden spoon. He doesn’t know how much you hate throwing perfectly good things away; it's not the wastrel's fault.


5. Realize that as the plastic cools, one of two things might happen. The plastic might turn into a malleable sheet that will easily peel off the oven floor. Or, the plastic will fuse itself to the oven and will have to be re-melted, meaning: more toxic fumes, additional brain damage, and further increased chances of sterility (not that you're absolutely dead-set on having children, but, you know, burning bridges and all that).


6. Scan kitchen utensils and triumphantly seize meat cleaver.


7. Wield cleaver like car windshield squeegee thingy, carefully drawing melted plastic toward the edge where you hold a wad of paper towels to sort of scoop everything up—careful, that stuff is hot; not that I burnt my fingers or anything, but this is what I as a sensible person would assume.


8. When the majority of the plastic is scraped off, finally, use a pot scrubby thingy to buff of any remaining residue.


9. Proudly examine floor of microwave, which is now looking cleaner than it has in a very long time.

Never will I make enchiladas again.

No, not the Culinary Institute of America

Let's not kid ourselves, I hardly have anything of true interest to write about. Which is why I haven't in a while.

Last week, loyal readers, that has changed.

The big news of the week - really of my entire year - I met the director of the CIA. Let's back up and see how I got to that point. Last month, I got a call from the CIA about hosting a few career services professionals from around the southeast at their headquarters. Apparently they need some fresh blood to search out Al Qaeda and think we're the ones to help them do it. Anyways, after the background check and bomb sniffing dog, I found myself in the lobby of the CIA. To be completely honest, it was pretty incredible.

The whole day I was wandering (ok, lets not kid, I did not do ANY wandering. There were eyes on me the entire time) around the CIA. Talking to analysts. Who can't really tell me what they do or what they research. Met the director of the CIA, an old mafia looking guy, and all I wanted to know is if he knows Bo Obama and is he as awesome as his pictures? Went into the office where they create the PDB (Presidential daily briefings). We were rushed through the CIA museum where there were all sorts of artifacts like spy pens, spy ciggy boxes, spy brooches, pen bombs, escape kits, al qaeda instruction manuals (I'm sure my blog just went onto some flagging list for mentioning AQ twice thus far). It's insane to think that these things truly are in use and it's just not some James Bond movie.

Of course, my favorite part was the CIA gift store. Because who doesn't want a CIA rally towel, wine glasses, bourbon canister, or golf ball? You name it, the CIA has its name on it.

You know what? For everything the agents and analysts deal with, everyone looked uneasingly calm. We only saw one dude the whole day and a half who was speeding through the hallways sweating profusely. Otherwise, they were chilling out in the cafeteria, eating a Dunkin Doughnut, or grabbing a Starbucks (apparently the one in the CIA is the busiest in Northern VA). Just another day at the agency.

Tis the season

I'm not going to sit around and talk about how this has been the craziest week of my life at work - because I know you're all feeling it.

Every single person I've talked to - those working full time, students, my parents - everyone is saying this week has been hands down the most stressful week all year. It's nice to know misery has company.

Why Wednesdays rock

1. I woke up and thought it was Tuesday, then realized it was Wednesday.

2. Glee at 9:00.

3. Since I'm off Friday, I only have 2 more days in the week.

4. A wonderful, wonderful email:

Dear Julia,

Thank you for your recent order. Please allow 48 hours before tracking your package. You can always access your order details at anthropologie.com.

Billing Address: Julia Tallahassee FL	Shipping Address: Julia Tallahassee FL
Pay Method: Card

	Item #	Description	Qty.	Unit Price	Total Price
	930096	Jacqueline Dress Yellow Motif Size 0	1

Tis the season

I drove into work this morning next to a Merdeces. Bobby's Bowdens mercedes, to be exact. Nice ride, coach! It most definitely football season.

I'm not even sure what to say here

Remember the Wolf Tee reviews back in May? Well, facebook has caught on:

S**** C*** C*******

S**** sent a Wolf dreams to Mark Wolf C****** and T**** F**** using The Magic of Wolves!.

6 hours ago · Comment · Like · Send The Magic of Wolves! to me (S****)

I almost clicked "hide" so I wouldn't have to see this ever again....yet I didn't because I am slightly intrigued. Who knew there was a market for Wolf Dreams.

College students

Overheard on campus today:

"...so yeah this weekend I'm like going to be like blackout drunk."

....sigh...

Molly Bear wiggles

Marni: omg wtf

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/search/?q=mollybear&init=pr

me: NO

NO

there is onlyone

Marni: right?????

me: wait did you just really search your dogs name in facebook

Marni: who ARE THESE POSERS

no....?

I love a gal who loves her dog as much as I love mine.

Things I see

Best friends since 1993

Refrigerator

Tailgating Bobby B.

Morning ride into work (seatbelt alarm kept going off).

In my tummy

Pictures can't describe what a crescent roll crust, caramelized onions and smoked gouda do for a gal's homemade pizza.

Happy Puppy Tuesday!

I'm giving you an opportunity here

The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail. After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air. Follow the link to hear the voicemails - you will be shocked!

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

Gay friendly cake.

A pictorial guide to baking a rainbow cake.

Gather

Mix

Color

Layer

Roy G. Biv

Wash later

Peek

Cool

Frost

SURPRISE!!!

Guts

Eat!

School's back in, we know what that means.

Guys. You will never believe it. After an entire summer of a peaceful drive into work, the start of the school year brings new challenges, new traffic patterns, and one familiar troublemaker. Today, at exactly 7:44am on the southbound lane of Thomasville Road, we met again. After 3 glorious and stress free months, she's back.

White Oddessey.

She's BACK!

You know, White Oddessey.

She's back, she's in full force, and she's up to her old tricks again. The old "Speed past everyone in the merge lane then cut 'em all off" trick. How predictable, Oddessey. What, couldn't come up with anything better? I whipped out my camera in order to get a shot of her, but she was too speedy. What a snake. Anyways, back to this morning.

This morning, this time, my friends, I followed her.

That's right. Work can wait (and I believe my coworkers would understand and encourage this). I have GOT to see the final destination of White Oddessey. I made a sharp turn on Pine Street and tried to catch up, White Oddessey about 6 cars in front of me. It was a challenge keeping up with her because of Forest Green Chevy Silverado on raised wheels and two giant mufflers driven by what must have been a recently turned 16 year old Leon Lion. I crossed over 7th ave. I raced around traffic calmers and road debris. I had my eyes set on White Oddessey. As I crossed over Mitchell and took a left, I realized the fight was over.

I'd lost her.

But I will not relent.

I will find you White Oddessey.

My traffic patterns have changed, too. I will now get in the merge lane of southbound Thomasville Road and block her out. This is my resolution. I'm doing it for all the drivers out there. A sort of Robin Hood of the roads....fighting for the rights of the streets.

note: I was not late to work.

8.21.09

Documenting today.

Bobby B's new ride. He's showing us the way to paradise (FSU Kickoff Lunch)

"Here's what I say. The older the blackberry, the stronger the juice. You know it?"

Sweet Tommy, playing the fight song that he wrote 54 years ago.

College is the breeding ground for higher thinking.

Snack

8/19/2009, 3:00 pm

8/19/2009, 3:06 pm

Key Lime I dont know what to call it

I found this recipe at Ceramic Canvas. She called it a cuplet. Some call it a tarlet. I think both of those words sound discusting. So I don't know what to call this little treat. Suggestions welcome.

Anyways, this came about for a few reasons. A of all, it was a Saturday and I didn't have anything to do, and B of all, and my parents were coming home from being up north that night. I figured they would probably be hungry and would appreciate a little something to eat. Key Lime sounded like the perfect welcome back to the south, but I wasn't about to commit to making a whole pie and then waiting for it to sit in the fridge. I'm a millenial, I need immediate results.

So, I found this, and whever you want to call it, I totally dig this because it only has 6 ingredients and that makes me and my wallet happy.

This is everything you'll need: Graham cracker crumbs, key lime juice, a lime, butter, sweetened condensed milk, and heavy whipping cream. Honestly it took me longer to wander around Publix trying to find all these ingredients than it did to make this.

First step: Comine 3/4 c graham cracker crumbs, 3 tbsp of sugar and 3 tbls of melted unsalted butter. This will be your cookie crust. Mix well. Looks like dog food, do not be discouraged by this.

Next: I used the really tiny muffin pan. You could use cupake size pans as well but I wanted the mini muffin pan because it makes for easy one-bite consumption. I sprayed with Baker's Joy.

Put a little over 1 tbsp of the graham cracker mix into the muffin pan and press out with fingers. This was disgusting to me, having long fingernails and all. Graham cracker under the fingernails isn't quite the spa treament I was looking for. Bake for about 12 minutes at 350 degrees and cool completely.

Man down!!!!!!!

Here are my little darlings waiting to be filled with key lime goodness.

Next, mix together in a bowl 6 tbsp of key lime juice, 4 tbsp of sweetened condensed milk, zest from one lime (no picture for this. It looked like mucus).

In a mixer, whip 1 cup of cream until soft peaks form, then gently fold into the key lime mixture.

So you're supposed to put the mixure into a piper and pipe into the shells, but since I'm not fancy and don't own a piper, I just put the mixture in a ziplock bag and cut off a SMALL triangle corner of the bag. Ghetto, but it worked nicely. Resourceful.

Garnish with remaining lime zest. Look at these little cuties!